Why I Will Never Love Your Mother’s Awful Jerk Boyfriend
A few days ago, Thought Catalog crossed a line. Twenty-three year-old provocateur Jeremy King took it upon himself to let us all know that having a girlfriend with an autistic son, in his thoughtful opinion “sucks.” And that said autistic son sucks, and that the said girlfriend will always be burdened with the suckage of said sucking son. “David,” he ends his narcissistic missive, “I will never love you.”
There seems to be a rise in saying-the-wrong-thing as edgy journalism lately. But I think there is a line between voicing intelligent unpopular or nuanced opinion, and publishing self-congratulatory “Am I right, or am I right?” pieces.
Jeremy King, I will never love you. I thought before responding to your post, because it was just begging for backlash and I wasn’t sure I wanted to give you that satisfaction. “I’m a terrible person for voicing this type of opinion” you write, “How dare I give an honest account of the harsh realities of a shitty situation!” Aside from all of the things I want to call you out on (namely abelism, but I could go on, and on), what I’d really like to know is: what is it that you think you’re doing?
As I see it: shaming your partner for the age she became a mother at; outing your partner’s “moments of weakness” (which presumably she was sharing with you intimately); shaming your partner’s toddler son for being born with a developmental disorder—and ultimately willing him and his disability away. On the Internet. To anyone that will read it. And asking for sympathy.
I think that you would probably hate your girlfriend’s kid regardless of the particulars of the situation. If for no other reason, than because you are clear that you want to be “the true love of her life.” She loves you more, you say proudly (while taunting that her son could never bring her the “true pleasure” you bestow upon her via sex—I truly hope readers who clicked on the article via this post didn’t make it that far.) David can’t comprehend language or his mother’s love, you reason with us, but you can. He is disinterested and needy (Autism or no Autism, he’s two!), but you are not. You are winning, you tell us again and again, winning.
You let readers know that you don’t and won’t ever consider David a child of your own. And yet you have no intentions of leaving his mother. She is in denial about his autism, you say, blames herself and lies about it. You, responsible you, blame the toddler himself.
Jeremy King, take some personal responsibility. You’ve fallen for David’s mother but not for him. This is not entirely uncommon for suitors and partners of single parents—but your need to spew hateful, abusive commentary about your girlfriend’s son, in a public forum—is unacceptable. Part of who this woman is is David’s mother, mother of David, who is autistic and two. He will not always be two, but his disability will stay with him, and his mother will continue to be his mother. Your vehement distaste for her son is not going to make her life better in any way.
Jeremy King, you are, in your own words, “the harsh reality of a shitty situation.”