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This thread on Reddit is getting some attention right now – likely because parents have been saving up material for a while. The question posed: “Parents of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing your young child has ever said to you?”

The answers? Nothing short of creepy. Here are our favourites (the titles are ours):

Lamp-knocking Bad Man

“Why are you crying?”

“Bad man.” 

“What bad man?”

 “There.”

Points behind me at a dark corner of the room. Lamp on bookshelf next to said darkened corner falls off as soon as I turn to look. She slept in our bed that night.

Hanging Man in the Closet

While changing my daughter in front of the open closet door, she kept looking around me and laughing. I asked her what was so funny. She said, “the man.” To which I replied, “what man?” She then pointed at the closet and said, “the man with the snake neck.” I turn around and nothing was there. I’m afraid to look into the history of my house to see if anyone hung themselves in the closet. At least she wasn’t scared.

Monster Newborn

My three-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother, looked at him a while, then turned, looked at me and said, “Daddy it’s a monster. We should bury it.”

Goodbye, Dad

I was tucking in my two-year-old. He said “Goodbye, Dad.” I said, “No, we say goodnight.” He said, “I know. But this time it’s goodbye.” Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.

Death is the Poor Man’s Doctor

I was on a bus recently and we were stopped outside a walk-in clinic. A little girl in the seat in front of me turned to her dad and said, “Death is the poor man’s doctor.” And that was that. Edit: never realized this was an Irish proverb. Context: I’m Irish.

Got  a creepy kid? We’d love to hear the creepiest from your spawn, err, children.

sources: Reddit + The Telegraph

 

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