Being Precious
Precious Chong blogs about co-parenting alongside her ex and his new fiancee
Even in a harmonious divorce and an amicable co-parenting situation, there are still painful moments that take me by surprise. One year Jack made Mother’s Day gifts for Sarah and me; they were not the same (shame on you daycare!) and to be frank, mine was the shittier one. I cried in the bathroom of Family Thai talking to Viktor on my cellphone, while Wes, Sarah, Jack and Wes’s mom ate dinner. Not my proudest moment.
Or when the mom at the school playground asked me where Jack’s mom was and I had to tell her that, in fact, I am Jack’s mom. I then promptly asked her when her baby was due to which she replied “I’m not pregnant.” Again, I am not proud of myself. Read more...
The Good Divorce
New apps may lead to more smiles in the court room and beyond
As web-based help becomes increasingly available for divorcing couples, judges are now officially turning parents to online sources to manage their families post divorce. Results have shown that couples taking their issues online has allowed them to tame the emotions that threaten their families and traumatize kids.
One woman from Maryland deemed co-parenting impossible when her high conflict relationship made her divorce impossibly complicated. Kelly Collis found relief with Our Family Wizard, a resource that offers shared custody calendars and visitation schedules, expense tracking, and messaging. The tool also helps parents can stay up to date on their kids health records, school info, and immunization histories with the information bank. It has an iPhone app so you can stay organized wherever you go. Read more...
Being Precious
Precious Chong blogs about co-parenting alongside her ex and his new fiancee
Wes and I have had a recurring argument over two things. But really it’s just one thing. Well, it is two things, but I’m going to talk about one of them today.
It’s over the amount of video games that Jack plays.
Yes, I know. He shouldn’t play any video games. It’s bad. It’s violent. It’s not good for his brain development.
But…He loves them. He is obsessed with them. He loves them so much that he likes to watch YouTube videos of 19-year-old nerdy boys playing them while they make dumb jokes.
So.. we’ve set up a schedule and that’s that. Right? Uhm no. You see the thing is… I think Wes can be too rigid while Wes thinks that I’m not clear enough with limits and follow through. Read more...
Being Precious
Precious Chong blogs about co-parenting alongside her ex and his new fiancee
“When I’m with you I miss Daddy and when I’m with Daddy I miss you.” Jack cried as I held him on my lap. Mind you, this was after a tantrum of yelling and screaming (full disclosure: by both of us) because I wanted him to do his homework before he ate some ice cream. But it was also after he had been at Wes’ for a couple of days. I need to remember that the transitions are usually tricky for Jack. Basically he’s leading two separate lives. I mean we do stuff together too so it’s not completely separate but that only goes so far.
It makes me sad writing this. Jack wants us all to live in one house, then he wouldn’t have to miss anyone. Read more...
Being Precious
Precious Chong blogs about co-parenting alongside her ex and his new fiancee
I just came back from recording a story for CBC’s DNTO with Wes. The theme of the show was border crossings so we told the story about how Wes missed the birth of our son because they wouldn’t let him through the border.
What happened was, I was eight months pregnant and we were living in Toronto. I wanted to have the baby in Los Angeles for several reasons:
a. I still had my s.a.g. insurance
b. my son would get dual citizenship
c. Wes was doing a play in California and rehearsals started the week of my due date.
d. I only had a green card at the time and my interview for my own U.S. citizenship was scheduled to happen around my due date (I had forgotten this detail, Wes reminded me). Read more...
The Good Divorce
Could a day-planner be the key to being co-operative colleagues?
Today’s Globe and Mail features an article about co-parenting after divorce and how former spouses with joint custody can work together for the sake of the kids. Sure it can be very, very tough, but Co-Parenting Works! author Tammy Daughtry says that after about two years, parents are capable of acting like a single parenting unit and are probably better at working together than they were pre-divorce.
Daughtry says the key to achieving this harmonious state is acting like “co-operative colleagues rather than foes.”
To faciliatate the co-operation, a couple in Quebec came up with the Parental Planner. France Gionet and Paul Doyon, who both have kids from previous relationships, created the planner to serve as a calendar, list of expenses, place for kid-related documents and a space to trade news about the kid. Read more...
The Good Divorce
Because divorces don’t have to be nasty custody battles
Rockstar Jack White and his model/singer wife Karen Elson have called it quits after six years of marriage. But it’s not sad; they seem really OK with it. Here’s their statement:
“We remain dear and trusted friends and co-parents to our wonderful children Scarlett and Henry Lee. We feel so fortunate for the time we have shared and the time we will continue to spend both separately and together watching our children grow. In honor of that time shared, we are throwing a divorce party. An evening together in Nashville to re-affirm our friendship and celebrate the past and future with close friends and family.”
Read more...
