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An update to our kid-friendly Oscar Party

Last year, we came up with a pretty good plan for hosting a kid-friendly Oscar party, if we do say so ourselves. The host has changed, the movies obviously are new, but for the most part, same ol’ Oscar party. Don’t forget to point out to your kids that the host, Billy Crystal, is actually Miracle Max in disguise. So play red carpet fashion show, make some classic popcorn boxes and let’s think about some best picture homages, in snack form.

Going through the list, we feel we should tell you that our first instinct for like half of the best picture nominations was croissants, but we’ve tried to branch out a bit from buttery pastries.

The only really kid-friendly best picture nom is Hugo, so we’ll start with that. Is War Horse kid-friendly? It’s based on a children’s book but we haven’t seen it yet.

Hugo: A sweet story about an orphan who lives in train station, works on his dad’s automaton and eventually finds a friend with a connection to the automaton. Since they’re in France, and, well, Hugo does steal some pastries throughout the course of the movie, but then the movie itself turns into a [SPOILER DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT] love letter to early film-making. We think popcorn is the ideal treat to honour Hugo. It’s a truly lovely film.

The Artist: Another movie about silent movies! Since the film is French, we also felt the mighty croissant was a worthy choice, but we’re saving that for later. Do your kids know about movies before colour? Teach them that sometimes colour isn’t needed to get your point across with a black and white cookie. Oreos, a Factor-Favourite, could stand in for the New York style black and white cookie if need be.

The Descendants: A dad in Hawaii has to do a little more hands-on parenting that he’s used to since his wife is in a coma. We’d like to play this one real simple and just suggest you cut up some fresh pineapple, but you probably want more than that. How about mini Hawaiian pizzas? A pulled-pork sandwich with sweet and tangy pineapple barbeque sauce? And for the very adventurous, we suggest you try DIY spam sushi. We’re not that daring though. To add a little bit of Hawaii to such Southern comfort food as pulled pork, cook your pork roast in the slow cooker. Add a can of pineapple tidbits to your favourite sweet and sour barbecue sauce and let the meat soak up all those pineappley juices. Or, you know, just serve mai-tais.

War Horse: No, we’re not doing our food-pairing suggestion based on something so literal as the title. Since the movie takes place during the First World War, we have yet another opportunity to use Spam! Or was that the Second World War… Anyway, the story, and the horse, start out in Devon, England so even if the English soldiers in the First World War didn’t get a whole lot to eat, that’s no reason for you not to have a little Devonshire Cream. With scones, obviously.

Tree of Life: A middle-aged man’s recollections of his family, growing up in Texas in the 1950s. We here at Bunch believe that broccoli, though relatively small for a tree, could just be the Tree of Life. Option 1: Cut up some raw broccoli and serve with ranch dressing. Option 2: We hear they like beef in Texas, so how about some hamburgers? Slider-form works best for parties.

The Help: Did you see this one? How bad did you want to try Minny’s fried chicken? She says fried okra is her favourite and we’d 100 percent be up for trying that too. You’re probably better getting take-out for the chicken, but by all means, put a good dollop of Crisco in the pan and shake up that chicken and flour and seasoning. This would be the right time to indulge in a Coca-Cola. We’ll pass on the pie, thanks.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close: A young boy wanders all over New York City hoping for some sort of message from his deceased father. We’re guessing he passed more than a couple diners that serve excellent cheesecake while on his weekly journeys. Also, we didn’t think this party had enough dessert.

Midnight in Paris: This is the croissant movie. Even if we can’t recall anyone in the movie actually eating one. That’s option 1. Option 2, which is actually a little more appropriate and party-friendly, is a cheese plate to go along with some great French wine. Did you know that Paul is an expert in French wine? And don’t scrimp on the cheese; get some nice brie and roquefort or something. You know what they say, cheap is cheap.

Moneyball: For this baseball movie, the obvious choice is hotdogs. And while we have nothing against a good hotdog, maybe we should focus more on the money aspect of the film? Do you remember money cake where the birthday kid’s parents had wrapped up loonies or twoonies in wax paper and stuck them in the batter? Try this with cupcakes! Or, just garnish cupcakes with Hanukkah gelt.

OK friends! Good luck on your Oscar pools and we’ll regroup on Monday to chat dresses and who was robbed and so on.

Photos by veggiefrog, Sarah Ackerman and Vincent Ma via Flickr

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