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Piratize your ‘tude

Avast, mateys! Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. The finest day on the whole calend-aarrrr to cast aside your land-lubbing ways and unleash your inner sea dog. We’ve got all the booty you need to celebrate the day with yer young scallywags. Kick up yer pegleg! ‘Tis time to scrape the barnacles off yer Wednesday.

Mini glossary o’ pirate speak

Pirates ain’t the kindest lot. The real ones tend to spout some salty insults that would shock and appall most land-locked folk. Steer clear of the unclean jeers when you be teachin’ yer young scallywags the pirate culture. Here are some fun phrases for your wee hearties who may take such words to heart. (Be forewarned: speakin’ like a pirate all day may invite mockin’ from those unworthy of their sea legs. Cast a blind eye, we reckon.)

Hello: Ahoy!

Yes: YARRR

What’s up?: AVAST!

Friends:  Hearties

Oh my gosh!: Shiver me timbers! (i.e., Shiver me timbers! That be the loveliest colourin’ I’ve seen across th’whole seven seas.)

I concur: ARRR! (i.e., ARRR! ‘Tis a pesky pain in the peg leg, that yappin’ neighbors dog.)

Food: Grub (i.e., It be 6 o’clock, scallywags! Grub be on the table!)

Treasure: Booty / loot (i.e., Finish yer greens and be rewarded with Mr. Christie’s sugary loot.)

Steal: Plunder (i.e., Mr. Christie don’t much approve of gettin’ his loot plundered.)

Helpful hints: Drop the “g” from all “ing” words (rowin’, fishin’, talkin’, partyin’) for optimal pirate swagger.

We also suggest referring to yourself in third person with a festive nickname. Simply insert a “Cap’n”, “Shark Tooth”, or “Long John” prefix. (Or hop on this pirate name generator.) You’ll feel like a scurvy knave in no time.

If you can’t think of any clever pirate quips, just squint your eyes and grit your teeth like you’re plotting a salty scheme.

WATCH

To get you started on your pirate speak, take a lesson from pirate guys Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap’n Slappy. They explain the 5 As — Ahoy, Avast, Aye, Ai ai, and Arrrr.

LISTEN

Timber-shiverin’ beats will help you get into the pirate groove. Yesterday we posted a selection of sweet sea chanteys to get you into the spirit, featuring the captains of pirate punk The Dropkick Murphys and Barry G. Blast these on yer rusty hornpipe!

READ

Buckle down and read some pirate-inspired lyrics. These three are proud beauties.

The Pirate by Shel Silverstein

Oh, the blithery, blathery pirate

(His name, I believe, is Claude),

His manner is sullen and irate,

And his humor is vulgar and broad.

Pirate Story by Robert Louis Stevenson

Where shall we adventure, to-day that we’re afloat,

Shall it be to Africa, a-steering of the boat,

To Providence, or Babylon or off to Malabar?”

The Homesick Pirate by Joshua Seigal

There was a homesick pirate,

His name was Danny Dunn,

Last night in bed he made a wish –

He thought it would be fun

To hop aboard a pirate ship

Instead of going to school.”

DO

 

How does one party like a pirate? Aye, let us count the ways!

  • Take a spin around the neighborhood in your bike / schooner to show off your pirate duds.
  • Have a breadstick/ cardboard tube / pool noodle duel
  • Set your Facebook language to pirate (account settings, language, edit, select English (pirate). Ye’ be welcome.)
  • Swab the deck. If there’s ever a day you might be able to make sweeping appealing, it’s today. Worth a try.
  • Walk a sidewalk chalk plank.
  • Make a tissue box marshmallow cannon.
  • Be inspired by these cool families who have made their lives a little more adventurous with a homemade pirate sandbox and a pirate ship and air cannon.

WEAR

Don’t just talk the talk. Walk the walk. For starters, cover yourself and your kid with temporary tattoos. Full sleeves, ideally. Add a bandana tied around your head, an eye patch, hoop earrings, a ton of beaded necklaces and some eyeliner scruff drawn on the face à la Jack Sparrow. Anything with skull and crossbone imagery you can find in your closet? Today’s the day to don it. Now you can really embody the pirate spirit.

Photos by seeareleembosque pescadorbill owen via Flickr. 

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