Life Lessons

Cartoon illustration of Rob Zombie protesting pesky skateboarding kids. Illustration by Chris Piascik

Rob Zombie Hates Kids and Skateparks


Here’s your news shocker of the day: Horror-metal rocker Rob Zombie and his wife Sheri Moon Zombie really hate those pesky kids and their noisy, noisy skateparks.


I Can’t Get … ‘Satisfaction’


“Dad, did you know one of the Beatles was killed?” asked my five-year-old son during dinner one day. “Yes, I did know that,” I replied. 

Mars Or Bust: A Photograph of Brigadeer-General maryanne Miller, commander of the 349th Air Mobility Wing, with her parents

Mars or Bust


Tired of the day-to-day drudgery of parenting? Sign up for a one-way trip to Mars. I’m not a risk-taker and I’m not interested in the possibility-of-death-type activities that other folks are drawn to.

Mother from Cat in the Hat speaks

BREAKING: Mother From Cat In The Hat Finally Speaks


You have got to get over to the Motherlode right now! Have you ever wondered where the mother was when the Cat in the Hat came to play that day? The New York Times is holding her to account.

sunscreen and toddlers

Sunscreen,Toddlers: Hilarious Awfulness


I am slowly learning how fun it is to get another human being to do something he doesn’t want to do. Welcome to Two.


Kids With No Money


I make songs, some of which harangue the world — and the world mostly don’t want to be harangued, so I don’t always have much money. My wife is a poet, the only profession that pays less than haranguing, and she does freelance writing from home so we kind of get along on that. It’s… Read More »

What's Behind The Door?

What’s Behind The Door?


Hey — remember that nightcam video from a while ago where the toddler was escaping his room in the middle of the night? This one is better: Watch it with your children tonight — if you DARE. source: the super-awesome Simon Racioppa

Game of Thrones parenting

5 Parenting Lessons from Game of Thrones, Redux


Yesterday I was scrolling through my twitter feed when I came across “5 Key Parenting Lessons from Game of Thrones” posted to Motherlode by Lisa Takeuchi Cullen. I was psyched. I love Game of Thrones — it is a virtual buffet of terrible parenting techniques. But the post was a total disappointment. I’m not even a diehard fan but I… Read More »

Teachable Moments From Political Blunders


It’s the funny thing about politicians. They’re supposed to represent our best selves, and work for all our collective best interests. Ideally, our kids look up to them. The reality is a little different. If you’re looking for a modern way to “Aesop” your kids, look no further than the cornucopia of recent political blunders (that’s… Read More »


A Bit of Boredom Does Kids Good


Have you heard of a parenting style called benign neglect? It could be described as the opposite of helicopter parenting – parents instead leave kids to their own devices, to create their own play and solve their own problems. It’s not about ignoring kids, it’s about recognizing that independence is a good thing. And, frankly, it’s… Read More »

On Temper Tantrums + Tying Yourself in Knots


I need to introduce myself, but where to start? I’ve been living with Wegener’s Granulomatosis for years, had a whoopsy-daisy pregnancy resulting in there being two loves of my life now and I struggle every day to keep it together. In short, I’m a working mom. I’ll try to work it all out in these pages as long as… Read More »

Illustration of various baby sleep positions via How To Be A Dad

How to Be a Dad’s Baby Sleep Positions


What torture does your baby subject you to? What are you fave bizarre baby sleep positions? We’ve seen these “instructional diagrams” from How to be a Dad circulating around our social media channels for a little while now, and we took some comfort in the fact that everyone’s kids eventually subject them to some bizarre sleep contortions. Whether… Read More »


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